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Critique wanted (Read 2,102 times)
 
Gary Rigdon
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Critique wanted
Feb 5th, 2011 at 10:36pm
 
I finished this vase a little earlier today an think that there is something off with it. All comments are welcome.

It is about 10 inches by 7 inches and made of cherry, holly, and walnut.
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Shannon Shanks
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #1 - Feb 5th, 2011 at 10:41pm
 
I think the accent band might be 1 ring too low. I'm also not sure about the accent at the mouth, the change to stripes my be throwing me visually too.

Nice job on the segmenting and shape!

Shannon
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Nate Davey
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #2 - Feb 5th, 2011 at 10:49pm
 
I agree with Shannon about the accent ring at the mouth.  I think the major diameter is too low on the form, I feel it should be at the upper third.  A smaller base probably would have helped that proportion out.  Spectacular job on the segmenting and turning.
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« Last Edit: Feb 5th, 2011 at 10:50pm by Nate Davey »  

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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #3 - Feb 5th, 2011 at 10:58pm
 
I'm ok with the form, but I also think the accent band should be one ring higher... it seems the accent band should be centered on the "widest" part of the turning.  But the segments look great, and the wood choices seem to really go well together.  Oh, the rim band - I kind of agree that it's distracting, but if this isn't finished, a quick fix might be another small band of the lighter woods on top of it, so it's more of an accent.  I could be totally wrong there, too, since it's getting late and my "design" side is off-duty!   smiley=lolk.gif

But overall, I really like the piece. Nice clean job...
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Dale Gillaspy
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #4 - Feb 5th, 2011 at 11:01pm
 
I have to agree. I'm not a segmenter, so my hat is automatically off to anyone that is. However, the widest part needs to be on the top 1/3 of the vessel, and the accent ring needs to be a little higher.

Like I said earlier, great job with everything else, though.
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #5 - Feb 5th, 2011 at 11:15pm
 
Nice work, Gary.  smiley=thumbsup.gif  I'll leave the segmenting suggestions to the segmenters, but I think I'd prefer to see a smaller foot. Also, I think the corner where the lower wall turns into the foot would look better with some radius to the turn.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about the radius. I didn't try to duplicate your form, just looking at the bottom.
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« Last Edit: Feb 5th, 2011 at 11:17pm by Vaughn McMillan »  
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Rev. Doug Miller
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #6 - Feb 5th, 2011 at 11:48pm
 
My suggestions are what have already been stated.  Smaller foot, radius the bottom edge, raise the accent ring, and loose the rim.  You might also make the top curve a bit tighter so that the top is a touch lower and flatter.  This isn't a bad looking piece at all.  I just think minor changes would make a huge difference though.
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Gary Rigdon
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #7 - Feb 6th, 2011 at 3:18am
 
It is really nice to get some honest and knowledgeable feedback. I think you all pointed out what was throwing it off for me. Thanks everyone for all the replies and suggestions.
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #8 - Feb 6th, 2011 at 6:45am
 
Gary,
I'm not a segmenter But I also agree with the before stated items. The stripes at the top are distracting & a smaller foot. beautiful vase though.
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Ken Vaughan
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #9 - Feb 6th, 2011 at 9:41am
 

I am just learning segmenting -- and have a few thoughts --

The center line of the feature ring is about at the 2/3 point ( that golden ration stuff) but the holly accent rings seem a bit thick.  The neck junction seems a bit abrupt and does not flow with the lines of the vase.

Great alignment of your pieces and rings.  I still struggle with that.  Your walnut alignment looks dead on!!

Your cherry does not look like you kept them in cut order -- some irregularity in appearance that looks splochy is there. 

I hope to get to your assembly skills -- blessings and hope these thoughts help.
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Ron Sardo
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #10 - Feb 6th, 2011 at 10:19am
 
A lot of good thoughts so far, I'm going to list them

1. Feature ring to low, raising it up to 2/3s from the bottom looks best.

2. Widest part of the form should also be 2/3s from the bottom.

3. Smaller foot.

4. Base were it touches the table should be rounded.

5. The lip (top) is to large, I think it can be shaped better.

I'll add my thoughts

6. Feature ring to big. The design is good, just try and use thinner wood segments.

7. One of my pet peeves, so take this with a grain of salt.
Most turners that start building segmented pieces have a habit of using 3/4" stock for their segments and as a result, each layer is 3/4" thick. They probably do this because its simpler. The problem, at least in my mind is, they all have the same look and its starting to get boring, at least in my eye. On the next go around, think about using 3/8" or 1/2" stock. You can even build your 3/4" layers and part them in half to make 2 layers.

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Gary Rigdon
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #11 - Feb 6th, 2011 at 1:57pm
 
Ron all of my rings are 1/2 inch thick except for the two 1/8 inch walnut rings. I have 22 total rings. The bottom ring is a solid piece. Most of the rings are 12 segment rings wich is all I have ever done on a piece, but I finally added in 4 24segment rings. I am still learning and know I have a long way to go with design and just about everything else with turning. It is really nice for me to hear someone pick out the flaws  in a piece than just tell me it looks great. I value all of your opinions and hope to incorporate them into my future design.
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Chuck Beland
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #12 - Feb 6th, 2011 at 5:00pm
 
Gary,
You'll always get honest critiques here. No flaming but honest answers on how to improve.  smiley=beer.gif
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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #13 - Feb 6th, 2011 at 8:53pm
 
I haven't turned for that long so I'm just going to give you a visual opinion. Not based on experience by any means. I do agree with the other posters that the accent ring should be higher. Personally I would have lowered the mouth to about a quarter of an inch or, inch at the most and made it just one band of dark colour.

Other than that I love the forum, very nice and smooth and really like the look how it's all stacked wood and all the blocks are offset from the last row. If that makes any sense. And I like that the accent band has a somewhat greek theme to it. Cheesy smiley=thumbsup.gif

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Re: Critique wanted
Reply #14 - Feb 7th, 2011 at 12:22pm
 
I like it & could never duplicate it but to me I think the accent band is a little bit too wide for the overall size. I do like it & it looks very nicely jointed I just think narrower by maybe 3/4" to 1".

Very nicely done. Congratulations on a fine turning.
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